Clinicians can, rightfully so, feel cautions to challenge what clients admit as cultural messages. For example, "I grew up in a Catholic home and still view sex as 'dirty' and 'sinful,' and I’m having a hard time enjoying it,” or “My culture values young women, and women over 40 aren’t considered attractive anymore…

We've all seen them. The sex scenes in movies that too often portray those initial moments afterwards to be euphoric and filled with mutual pleasure and happiness. But, we know that just isn't always reality! It can actually be an awkward or uncomfortable time for couples. Add pain, difficulty with communication, or a physical limitation to the mix and it can really become a difficult time to figure out what to say. I often get asked by client's, "how do I ask for what I want?" and "what if I want my partner to do something different?" or often what is more likely is that I'll find out that sex just ends "bad" with one or all partners frustrated or feeling like there's a lack of connection.

Early on in my clinical practice I developed what I like to call, The 3 A's.