"Teach Me Sex" with Sormeh
I’m SO excited to share my latest “Teach Me Sex” interview with you. It was juicyyy!
I had the pleasure of speaking with Sormeh, a fellow OT and recent OTD graduate. Sormeh's identities include queer, first generational woman of color, and hard fem. She has been active in the queer community for just over a decade and was previously active in the polyamory community.
To Sormeh, queerness falls on a spectrum. It involves all sorts of people, bodies, and includes whatever body parts those individuals do or don’t have. It also shouldn’t be dependent upon how others view you. I think this explanation is a great reminder that sexual identities aren't simply one size fits all terms. - they are identities NOT terms or categories. There are many qualities and traits that fall within an individual’s sexual identity that are unique to them. And sexual identity isn’t defined by how someone looks or how they are viewed by others.
And when it comes to sex, for Sormeh, it seldomly includes penetration because let’s be real… when you do all the other things, there just isn’t always that much time for penetration! Sormeh states that sex should be creative (preach it!). It can include oral, anal, just hands, clothes on, clothes off.. the options are endless! And it doesn’t always have to include an orgasm.
Addressing sexuality and intimacy should also mean addressing sexual expression. For Sormeh, it means attending kink parties and doing performances at street fairs and queer events, which she states can be a really intimate experience as a performer.
I think my favorite take-away from this conversation are Sormeh’s “Teach Me Sex” tips.. she didn't hold back!
Lube, lube, and more lube! (And I agree.. put it everywhere!)
Don’t be a picky eater.
Don’t be afraid to get in there and get sloppy! This can be validating for the person on the receiving end and helps them to relax.
Don’t overthink it. You’ll never know if your partner does or doesn't like something until you try it or ask.
Don’t be afraid to talk during sex. Giving your partner tips and suggestions along the way shouldn't be taboo. Your partner will likely thank you for them!
Lastly, don’t be afraid of toys. The more the better! You don’t always have to use them but they’re good to have on hand. Toys give the opportunity to add different sensory and sexual experiences.
You can listen to the full interview here, on my YouTube channel.